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Geijutsushi Nina
@ Friday, September 23rd 2011, 8:46 AM
Kaiser
@ Monday, October 10th 2011, 3:00 AM
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 ShiPainter |
Koroku
@ Sunday, July 31st 2011, 1:49 PM
I didn't even know it was broken. Shows how much I pay attention....
Kaiser
@ Sunday, August 14th 2011, 7:02 AM
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Why would a doctor choose ocella over yaz or vise
- [Homepage]
@ Tuesday, August 23rd 2011, 12:10 AM
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Should a patient stop taking ditropan before ultra
- [Homepage]
@ Tuesday, August 23rd 2011, 9:21 PM
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Bowtrol colon cleanse reviews - benefits of a colo
- [Homepage]
@ Wednesday, August 24th 2011, 2:12 AM
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
I am not young enough to know everything.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
The covers of this book are too far apart.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Electronic Cigarettes
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 3:46 AM
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Hcg worthless as weight loss aid
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 9:59 AM
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Can you take imitrex if you are already taking wel
- [Homepage]
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 1:11 PM
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Levitra
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 1:48 PM
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Green Smoke
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 2:20 PM
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
V2cigs.com
@ Saturday, August 27th 2011, 2:54 PM
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Why don't you write books people can read?
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
The truth is more important than the facts.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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@ Tuesday, August 30th 2011, 3:46 PM
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Free emule download
@ Tuesday, August 30th 2011, 9:02 PM
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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@ Tuesday, August 30th 2011, 11:54 PM
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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist and better tools.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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Men have become the tools of their tools.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
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Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
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Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
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Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
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@ Thursday, September 1st 2011, 2:16 PM
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
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People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
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vimaxwebsite
@ Friday, September 16th 2011, 1:28 PM
this a great post..
|
 ShiPainter [View Animation] |
ShoutmosLover
@ Wednesday, December 8th 2010, 10:08 PM
HI! I'm new here so this one is my first picture sorry I'm kinda shakey when it comes to drawing in computer
Shinu
@ Thursday, December 9th 2010, 9:00 PM
Aw, it looks really good. The colors are nice and vibrant against the background.
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Siaarn
@ Wednesday, November 3rd 2010, 10:41 AM
Omigawd I actually finished it. Well, it's a Kappa, he was gonna be a Digimon, but he looks like an ordinary Kappa now.. Let's just pretend he's a Digimon.
Drawing (c) Siaarn
Drawing (c) Siaarn
Shinu
@ Thursday, November 18th 2010, 7:55 AM
It looks really good! I love your coloring method. 
Siaarn
@ Friday, November 19th 2010, 2:13 AM
Thank you
PaintBBS
DextriuX
@ Sunday, October 10th 2010, 9:18 PM
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I'm going to rewrite this ^^l I wrote it like I didn't speak English. I'm Dex. This a a gabu mon I made in Sai since gabumon is my favorite Digimon (Guilmon is too) and I started to play my old Digimon world Dawn game again. Um.. Hi. (Uploaded by DextriuX) (Edited on October 10, 2010, 9:43 pm) |
Shinu
@ Sunday, October 10th 2010, 9:31 PM
Wow, this looks fantastic. Nicely done!
 PaintBBS |
Geijutsushi Nina
@ Wednesday, October 6th 2010, 7:34 AM
Shinu
@ Friday, October 8th 2010, 12:37 PM
Wow, the coloring on this is very nice.
|
 ShiPainter Pro |
 ShiPainter Pro [View Animation] |
KariFlameUser
@ Monday, September 13th 2010, 6:12 PM
Shinu
@ Monday, September 20th 2010, 1:31 AM
Aw, this is adorable! Very nice!
|
PaintBBS
Geijutsushi Nina
@ Monday, September 6th 2010, 9:22 AM
 |
Inspirated in this track- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thwxN7A-9RU Silly Daisuke... If you doesn't understand my letter: Dai: "I'm trying to grow taller right now, so I'm drinking 3 liters of milk every day! ~" *drinks* - Yosh!! I'm not going to lose to Takeru and Ken!! Ah... Wait... M-my stomach... O-outch... Chibimon: Daisuke?? Are you ok?? Dai: I'm f-fine, Chibimon... Chibimon: Sure? Dai: S-sure... (Uploaded by Geijutsushi Nina) |
Shinu
@ Tuesday, September 7th 2010, 6:42 PM
Haha, that's great. Nicely done.
ShoutmosLover
@ Wednesday, December 8th 2010, 10:10 PM
Wow cool picture
 PaintBBS |
Geijutsushi Nina
@ Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 11:25 AM
Shinu
@ Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 8:23 PM
Very cute! I love Ken.
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